Random Rant number 256…..

Well today I’m in Sydney with Bree and Fitzy shooting episodes of our new show Download.Got some really great guests coming on the show and some of the funniest clips you’ve ever seen.  Can’t wait to get it on the telle. Should be in your lounge room real soon. The Big Brother wrap party was one of the Biggest ever with a fireworks display, fancy dress and a fantastic rendition of Friday night games where one contestant fell in the Gold Coast canal. Well actually thats not entirely true. I pretended to play Friday Night Games after a few champagnes and fell in the water while crash tackling an inflatable penguin.  Tim Brunero, who I thought was my friend, wrote about it on his blog www.timbrunero.com  and my mother read it. Apparently I’m grounded if I ever go back home. Can’t wait till you do something silly when you’re drunk so I can write about it, ya bastard.  All good Timmy, good to see you’re doing so well. Weirdest thing happened to me today. I was in a taxi on the way to the airport and an entire wheel came off the trailer in front of me. There were sparks everywhere and it almost caused an accident, very strange indeed.Went to Golden Century tonight for dinner in Sydney and Im starting to think that their standards have dropped. I got warm spring rolls, no fortune cookies and the Peking Duck tasted like Dettol.Sorry about all the random stuff but I just felt like a big fat blog off. I think now that the Courier Mail Blog has finished I need somewhere to have a “Brain Dump”. Sorry you have to read it.What do you think of my super hot fiancés’ new modeling pic? How amazing is she?  I’m the luckiest man alive. Love you baby!   BTW, If you want to hire her shes with DALLYS.  tan  Smokin Hot! Tanya Arlidge 

Pamela Anderson

I finally get to meet the girl that I first went to bed with. Sure it was a magazine and sure I cut my nose on her staple but it still means a hell of a lot to me okay!You wouldn’t believe the hype that has been whirled up by the Bay watch babe going on my show, its almost overwhelming!  She will be right next to me on Friday Night Live and Im going to do a couple of things that may get me into the poo poo with my bosses. Im sure shes into doing fun stuff so Im going to get my mate Matt Hollywood to saw her in half or levitate her or something. How cool will that be! 

Couldn’t be stuffed

This will so look like an info-mercial.I am so lazy at the moment. I really couldnt be bothered training or getting fit.about 6 months ago I was training every day and I have found that I just don’t have the time. I do one sit up a day, I sit up in the morning and lay down at night. Lazy MO FO, anyway after big Brother I will have more time to lose my flabby gut. I was going to put a photo of it here but I just looked at them and was disgusted. Why am I even writing this. I should be going for a run or something. Australia now has the highest obesity rate in the world which I find really hard to believe because when I was in the US when everywhere I looked there was a Jabba the hut baby human lurking.  Im going to the gym now!!!! 

Get Smart on Friday Night Live


It was really really weird with people like Richard Wilkins, Hamish and Andy and a few other TV type celebs around to interview Steve Carrel and Anne Hathaway  for the new Get Smart movie. They were looking at me as if to say, what the hell are you doing here. Well I was there to interview the stars for Friday Night live’s Spy Night. What I got them to do was a suprise to everyone. Steve put pegs on his nipples and Anne put them on those big sexy lips of hers. You have to watch this Friday night at 7.30 to see what happened.

!!FRIDAY NIGHT WARNING!!

Bree Amer, Ryan Fitzy Fitzgerald and I are back the week after Big Brother with our new show, Friday Night Download. If you have any cool web videos that you’ve made yourself please send them to me and we’ll try to get them on the show.Not just stuff you find on the web but cool stuff that you may have uploaded yourself is what were  looking for.If you’re really really good looking and you want tickets for the shows live audience filming starts in Sydney in a few weeks.   Send me an e mail and I’ll forward it to our producers. P.S It has nothing to do with our new show, but heres a photo of the buxom beauty Bianca from Big Brother in a bikini

Dixie Chicken

mikeyjackiAs the latest evictee from the Big brother house, Dixie shoved her face into a bucket of KFC I thought to myself this is really weird.

She was into it like a Mercedes Corby lawyer onto Anna Coren from Today Tonight and I was thinking, how the hell did I get here?

I never thought in a million years I would have a turn at hosting the Sunday eviction show and yesterday when I got the call from BB management telling me that KYLE was sick and they wanted me to fill in I thought it was a joke.

King Kyle has a chest infection and is recovering well I hear. Lets hope he comes back this weekend to stir things up.

After 8 years working on the show, starting out as voiceover and crowd warm up man It was something that I never really thought I would ever get the chance to do. Gretel didnt have a sick day in 7 years. I didn’t ring any friends or family to tell them that I was doing it because I really didn’t think it was going to happen. What a buzz being up there in front of that roaring crowd, they were so full on.

The intruders were great but Im really annoyed at Terrance. He promised to stir things up but went into the house and did sod all. He didn’t even stick up for Terri when Nobbi was absolutely hammering her last night. He was being an absolute bastard, screaming at Terri like a f%*$ing moron. He may be funny and have a lot of fans, but theres no reason to speak to an old lady like that. As annoying as she can be, I really felt for her.

Random Rant: The Nurofen Ad

You know the wedding commercial where the mother of the bride or some old dodgy nanna puts some nurofen/headache pills on the brides dress?  Wouldn’t you be pissed off if you were expecting cash to be stuck to you and this old mole staples some headache pills to your dress. What is that saying? HEY BITCH YOU’RE A RIGHT HEADACHE! Is a cheap present, the worst last minute present you could ever imagine. Shit! I forgot a wedding present, I know I’ll just give her this half used out of date packet of pills from my purse.
They should have had a punch up right there and then at the wedding.

END RANT.

Big MOUTH

My GAWD!!! The people who comment on my blog at the Courier are so hardcore.

Some of the stuff theyre writing are so mean. Go and have a look! www.couriermail.com.au (just go to the BLOG section)
Eight years and going strong Big Brother fired up a new show called Big Mouth last night. Pretty damn cool, I must say well well done to all involved.

Im off to my future father in laws birthday tonight, well done for making it this far Steve and than ks for letting me marry your daughter!

Hey Ive got to say Im really pissed off that Big Brother didnt get the Logie again this year. BUMMER.

Thats all, I shouldnt really winge about it anymore.

The logies was fun, I met Peter Hellier, hes cool, Roves script writers were a funny bunch and Daryl Summers was a freakin legend. Loved talking to him about TV and stuff.