onthemike

Me on John Formans Big Night In

The bears, the bulls and the donkeys converged on Star City In Sydney for the Stockbroker of the year awards. The generosity from all in attendance was incredible. At least $80k was raised for the Royal Prince Alfred Hostpital to buy Humidicribs for premature babies. When I was on stage I couldn’t believe the amount of brokers who pledged cash and one in-particular who pledged 32k himself for an RPA humidicrib. Think of the lives that this could save, amazing. Thankyou so much for your generosity. Thats not all that was raised, there were a huge amount of people who showed amazing generosity during the silent auction, raising up to 200k. Not to mention almost 6 million over the years. During such hard economic times the stockbroker community of Australia showed amazing generosity. Great to see some of the talented babes from Sky News and Sky Business news Australia.
Thanks for having me guys and hope to see you next year…..

Im all in at Darling Harbor’s Star City Casino Sydney for the next few days playing a BIG GAME Poker Tournament to win big buck$$$$$. They use me a lot here for shows, like the recent Ralph Swimwear model of the year and the up coming Stockbroker of The Year Awards, I love this place! The chunky waterfall at the entrance, Baby John Burgess working here three times a day for a live game show, staff who help you out at the tables when you’re not sure what to hands play, great restaurants, bars and of couse heaps of big poker tournaments.
My yummy fiancé Tanya is here styling and modeling a few fashion parades for hair expo at the convention centre next door. The poor darling has been going multiball trying to get the parades styled in time. Its reminding me of when I was a hairdresser, I cut hair in my first two weeks of apprenticeship and got sacked. Glad I did cause every day the boss spoke to me like a dog, all I did was sweep the floor, wash towels, work long hours and go home most days with a muffin mouth full of other peoples hair. I was just down there at the convention centre at Darling Harbor watching all the spunky hairdressers wizz and jizz up a storm of hair hats. Tanya’s styling is incredible, Im sure you’ll see what shes done in all the groovy fashion magazines read by fussy women who think they know whats hip and men who enjoy a bromance a little to much.
Back to Star City and the Poker, I had breakky at Austral this morning on the top floor of the casino with spectacular views of the city, served over excitedly by a little indian dude who kept bowing. By far the best breakfast ever. Why dont you come down to Star City and check out the Poker Room where I will hopefully be at the tables for the next few days, unless I go all in with a bad bluff and a low pair. Not to be confused with going down on a big muff with a mo hair.
Think you can play poker? Then put your money where your mouth is BIG GAME POKEROr you can read the next issue of RALPH MAGAZINE how I played games here at Star City and at the 888 poker tournament with Shane Warne in Melbourne next week. When it comes to POKER I’m All IN BABY!!!!

TERMINATED BBQ’s and PLASMA TV’s

Last week I was firing a shotgun into a TV screen, was smashing BBQ’s with bulldozers (with me in them) and riding down slip’n slides with blokes in their undies. Hey I really didnt like that. So to make myself feel more manly heres a photo of me with some chicks…. Check out next months issue of RALPH to see what went down when I hosted the Hollywood Ashes in L.A and the RALPH SWIMWEAR MODEL OF THE YEAR in Sydney. Its all in the name of entertainment my friends.

Hey Check Out my thumb! It looks like my pee pee!!
Tune into Meshel, Ash and Kip with Lutsy all this week to win free crap, or if our contestant stuffs it, hear me TERMINATE the big ticket prizes.
This morning we threw an anvil into an X BOX. YEAH!!
You might think its a waste of really expensive stuff, yes it is. (I’m lying, most if it was broken before, we’re not that stupid)

Register to win stuff @
GO TO THE NOVA WEBSITE AND CHECK OUT THE VIDEOS

Time for me to deflate the doll and get ‘ outta here. (leave the hotel room)

My gorgeous fiancée Tanya Arlidge is a super stylist and I quite often rave about her wherever I go because she is the best thing in the universe. See!
Heres some of her recent work. She’s pretty darn good on the microphone too. She should have sang a song or done a rap like, “Styling by Tanya, Im gonna get some clothes on ya!”…….

Maybe not.

for bookings or enquiries - tmstyle@live.com

I’m helping to raise much needed funds for Multicap this Saturday night. They support local people with complex and multiple disabilities.
Attendees will also include Multicap Patron, Her Excellency the Governor of Queensland, Penelope Wensley AO, Olympic diver Robert Newbery, and Olympic swimmer Nick Sprenger.
We’re raffling a $12,995 diamond pendant designed by Hardy Brothers Jewellers.
WHAT: Multicap Charity Ball
WHEN: Saturday 23 May 2009 from 6.30pm
WHERE: Gianni Events @ Portside, Remora Road, Hamilton
Multicap is a non profit organisation that supports local people with complex and multiple disabilities, providing capabilities, and possibilities.
For further information, please contact: Cathy Kay, Multicap’s Marketing & Communications Manager on 07 3340 9000 or Kate Haddan, BBS Consultant on 07 3221 6711

Im giving away all this stuff at the RSPCA million paws walk in Sydney. Come down with ya puppies and win stuff!
Huyndai i30cw wagon SX manual valued at $24,000
5 years supply of Hill’s Pet Nutrition pet food, valued @ $5,000 RRP
2 Electrolux Pet Friendly Vacuum Cleaners valued @ $1,100 RRP
Hamish McBeth package of leads, collars, grooming products valued @ $1,000 RRP
You can just show up and register your dog because web registration is now closed.
See you at Sydney Olympic park from 10 this Sunday. WOOF!!!

My first ever job in Hollywood, sure its a free one, but I’m on a microphone and there’s people coming. Actually theres lots of people and bucket loads of celebrities. 24’s Julian Sands and DANCING WITH THE STARS’ Len Goodman will battle House’s Jesse Spencer and THE BEAST’S Travis Fimmel on Saturday May 9th, 2009 at the Westfield Hollywood Ashes celebrity cricket match. The spirited, Saturday afternoon Twenty20 match at Woodley Cricket Field in Van Nuys, California is between historical rivals, Australia and Britain. Actress/comedienne Tracey Ullman will conduct the coin toss.
The event boasts an additional star-studded team that includes Jason Clarke (BROTHERHOOD), Luke Ford (MUMMY 3) Curtis Stone (celebrity chef), Brett Hicks-Maitland (ALL SAINTS), David Hoflin (NEIGHBOURS), Nash Edgerton (director, THE SQUARE), Ben Lawson (NEIGHBORS) and Cameron Daddo (24) playing for Australia. Representing Britain will be Darius Danesh (POP IDOL), Nigel Lythgoe (SYTYCD), Len Goodman (DWTS), Ross King (KTLA), Julian Stone (GENERAL HOSPITAL) and Rhino (GLADIATORS).
Cricketing legends Graham Hick, (English Test Cricketer) Michael Kasprowicz (Australian Test Cricketer) Shahid Afridi (Pakistan Test Cricketer), Younis Khan (Pakistan Test Captain) will bring a world-class cricketing standard to the occasion.
Cheering from the sidelines will be Eric Idle (MONTY PYTHON), Bruno Tonioli (DWTS), Stephanie Jacobsen (MELROSE PLACE), Natasha Henstridge (ELI STONE), Sean Maguire (THE CLASS), Derek Hough (DWTS), Shannon Elizabeth (AMERICAN PIE), Kris Marshall (LOVE ACTUALLY) plus more to be announced. Honorary supporters include Hugh Jackman, Ozzy Osborne, Rupert Murdoch and cricketing legends Shane Warne and Kevin Pietersen. Hopefully some of those guys show up and I get to interview them for the crowd.

These guys will be there too, they are a Gangsta Rappin Cricket team from Compton.

Come to The World Premiere of Party Pash!!!!
Crazy games, cool prises and the hottest singles around!