I’ve finally realised what I cant stand about soccer, other than the fact Australia are hopeless at it, I hate goalies. If they could get rid of the damn goalies then there would be so many more goals and it would be so much more fun to watch. Just when your team is on a roll, youre sure theyre going to score theres a bloke at the end who’s allowed to cheat and use his hands. On another note, my euro trash soccer fanatical mates can’t stand it when they hear anyone call their game “soccer”, “its football” they bark at you. Well excuse me you winging Pom or you arrogant German friend, I was brought up playing rugby bloody league and rugby freakin union, mens games we here call football. Games where men are real hard hitting tackling men and not poncey Georgio Armarni underpant and perfume modelling girlie men. Soccer will never be as big in Australia because its for wusses. The only reason why we are interested in it once every four years is because the rest of the world is. I also cant stand the little whining pussies who are pleading for a penalty roll around on the ground screaming when their ankle is looked at the wrong way by a member of the opposing team. Just like Italy did against us in the last SOCCER World Cup. Im sure if Australia beat Ghana tonight I will love Soccer-ball (thats my compromise soccer name) again and I will probably take all of this back. Go the Soccer-roos. Or should I say the Football-roos.
Author Archive
Soccer or Football?
Saturday, June 19th, 2010
NETS Saved my little sisters life….
Tuesday, May 4th, 2010
Still tickets available if anyone is up for coming to parliament house for the NETS fundraiser.
They are the premi baby transport service that saved my little sisters life. Its going to be a great night for a very worthy cause.
Hope to see you there. Click here for all the info…….
NETS
Ralph Swimwear Model Of The Year
Sunday, March 21st, 2010
Yes, its true, I am a wanker. Ralph have put me in their top 100 of all time and that qualifies me to host any of their events and drive Ralph editor Santi Pintado’s car whenever I like. The 2010 RALPH Australian Swimwear Model of the Year National Final to be held at Star City in the Sports Theatre and Bar on Friday 23rd April and if you want to come go to www.ticketmaster.com.au. $30 includes stadium seating, plus entry to the official RALPH ASMY ‘After Party’ at 36º. Its a great night and all the Ralph girls are up for a party, so if youre 
Thats my thumb sticking out by the way!
New Radio Show
Sunday, March 7th, 2010
Breakfast radio sucks, I will never do it again. So check out my new drive time radio show on C91.3 FM Sydney between 3 and 6pm. 
All sorts of wacky guests pop in every day, I talk about bizarre stuff going on in my world and have a plethora of celebrity guests.
The other day I had another career highlight. I opened a McDonalds at Camden. They paid me in Maccas vouchers….Part of the job included singing happy birthday to a weird little kid who looked like he was about to cry and introducing a local jungle dance group called Rock The Block. Theres something really weird about little kids crumping. Actually they all followed me back to my studio.
Heres a look at some of the strange goings on…….
I AM POKER
Friday, December 4th, 2009
Im gonna lay my royal flush down on the table and let people know, Poker is my life my life is Poker. I’m sure Marcia Heinz wrote a song about that once when she had one, late one night when she had to many lemonGRASS teas. Very happy about making the front cover of the Australian Poker Weekly and I have to say Its about time. Not because I hosted the highest rating Poker TV show of all time in Australia with Lee Final tables Nelson but more for the amount of unsuspecting people who I’ve met at the tables of various casinos across australia and told bad jokes to while they took my hard earned money. Truth is, I love the game, but have an extremely short attention span. So when It comes to hosting poker tournaments at home or on the telle Im having a ball and enjoying the game with everyone around me, but when it comes to winning, I suck. I suck so bad. Although I did make it to the top 20 at Shane Warnes recent tournament at Crown casino amongst some real poker pros. Hey I even beat Warnie that day. Check out the new poker room at Star City, its by far the best in Australia. Just beware Grant Levy and Toothpick Tony, they ALWAYS bluff. I know from experience.
Get some ETS
Tuesday, December 1st, 2009
I love how whenever the news talks about the Emissions Trading Scheme or anything to do with ruining the environment they show massive steam chimneys that do nothing to our atmosphere. Silly news directors, but hasn’t the ETS caused some drama. A new liberal leader, a double dissolution election and a Cold Chisel tour. Well, umm, maybe thats not from the ETS. But it COULD stand for Elderly Tour Starts or Every Tool Sings. Seriously, as if I can be serious. The captain K.RUDD is trying to do something major for the environment. Sure it may not make much difference, sure it is going to cost us all a bit more each year, but you have to say it is a bold move and if the rest of the world follows, Australia will look pretty damn cool. Then the money raised will help third world countries in too many ways to list here. One of the bad side of the ETS by the looks of things is that our primary industries could suffer. The government should exclude them from new taxes and look at grants, funding and other forms of support. I do think the KRUDD man needs to get back down under and sort things out. Another problem is that we will give up some of our sovereignty to a new organization that will fine our country for breaking the rules. Is this the first step towards a world government. Kevy does love to gallivant all over the world more than any other PM I remember. To me it looks more about KRUDD than our Country. Sure Abbott is a little straight, but look at what the straight old tool John Howard did for Australia before the Labour party got their hands on the cash. Either way It will be interesting to see what the Rudd-mister does when he hits the stage, or should I say the house next. If he comes back, looks like he may be having too much fun!
Sydney Cider Just Like Dickens Cider
Thursday, October 8th, 2009
Back in Sydney now after about twelve years in Brisbane and let me tell you, It feels great to be back home where I grew up. Hosting a digital radio show on GORILLA that kind of came about when I first got here. Bondi is an exciting and interesting place to live, with lots of tourists, mostly pommies who I’m sure are staying here illegally. I went for a walk today and was hit by some english git’s beach ball of death. Who takes a freakin’ beach ball to the beach on a day when cars are pretty much being blown onto the ocean? The weather bomb thats being dropped at the moment is disgustingly ugly. How ugly? Uglier than a nude bearded french backpacker with crabs on his teeth. Where was I, yes, Sydney is going great and theres always cool stuff happening. Like last night the opening of the Public Dining Room at Balmoral beach. Amazing restaurant with incredible food but a unimaginative name. Should have called it Bombora or Bal Bals, or…. Sorry Im being a Balmoron. Thanks for having me PDRB, loved the place. Then I went to RAVISIS Bondi for the opening of their wine bar. That was a cool party, had a dance to an excellent band, (I wanted to sing) met some groovy people and then after a few drinks stumbled home. Oh I was stopped in the street by some chick that reckons that she was supposed to be let into the Big Brother house as an intruder to take on Krystal. She said she decided against it, fair enough. Gawd!! Cant believe Im talking about BB!! Please everyone, no more e mails asking me if Big Brother is coming back. No, Its not, and even if it was I probably wouldn’t do it. I loved the show as much as everyone else, so did my bank account, but its gone for good now so lets get over it. Watch the Spearman Experiment, Glee or Masterchef.
My darling girl, Tan Arlidge is living here with me. She has a great job and up coming accessories business. Her stylish pieces are hand made in our lounge room. There’s still feathers everywhere damn it! Metallic Dreamer
Okay gotta go, I have some serious sleep debt to pay back to my brain. Gotta be up at 5am for my show on GORILLA and if I dont sleep now I’ll be DJ docile.
Kyle Boned
Tuesday, September 8th, 2009
I can’t believe just because the guy tells a bad joke he gets suspended again.
It’s all over the news and now his job is under threat. Kyle isn’t the only DJ in town, you know you can listen to anything else on about fifty other stations if you don’t like it. I really don’t understand what all the hype is about. Sure he said a bad joke about Magda Szubanski, big deal. Having a jewish name Im not defending what he said about her losing weight if you put her in a concentration camp. I’m just saying if you don’t like it, don’t listen. Just like when Big Brother copped it. Dont watch you idiots who love to complain. I think everyone knows that by now.
Its the stupid journalists out there that don’t like Kyle, for one reason or another, see it as an opportunity to get him sacked and all they’re doing is giving him publicity. I wish I could get that amount of publicity on my little tiny tincey baby digital radio show that I just started doing. (6-9 weekday mornings on GORILLA) Anyway, I like Kyle and I consider him a friend. Kyle, like me, loves to give people a stir. Its obviously working for him, so well done buddy, thanks to the media reporting on you, watch your ratings soar.
Does Ally Pinnock Look Like Warwick Capper?
Wednesday, August 19th, 2009
Ally P used to host Cyber Shack on Nine (was better than the other hosts) and has been helping out on my new radio show. GORILLA RADIO
This morning we interviewed the wizard Warwick Capper. Ally, brought to my attention that she has the same hair as Wazza, so it has prompted this sudden survey.
